Jessica Simpson farts. In public. That’s the gist of this Us Weekly article that was labeled “Exclusive!” And now I can’t stop giggling, because I can just imagine a further headline: “Breaking: Wind”. Anyway, this OH MY GOD FART happened during a business meeting between Jessica, her mom and the company who is going to be helping Jessica with her denim line. When The Fart That Broke happened, Tina Simpson turned and yelled “Jessica!” Which sounds like Tina was trying to push the blame, right? Anyway, “the tension was extreme.” Tension makes me gassy too.
Let’s end this meeting on a high note!
A source tells Us Weekly that Jessica Simpson had a, ahem, windy moment during a business meeting for her denim line in late January. “While one of the executives was speaking in a room full of five people, Jessica let out a very loud fart,” says the insider.
“Her mother [Tina Simpson] was there, and it prompted her to turn around and yell, ‘Jessica!’ The tension was extreme. No one knew what to say.”
It wasn’t Simpson’s first brush with public flatulence: She famously cut loose on an episode of Newlyweds, telling then-husband Nick Lachey, “You love my stinky ass,” and professed her fondness for between-the-sheets poots (a.k.a. Dutch ovens) to a radio station in 2008.
Maybe someone told Gerard Butler about her gassy fascination! When the actor, 40, with whom she shared a flirty dinner in October, joined her group at West Hollywood’s Boa Steakhouse January 23, he steered clear. “They didn’t sit next to each other,” notes an employee. “She seemed to be nervous around him.”
[From Us Weekly]
Ah, yeah, I don’t think Gerard gives a rat’s ass about Jessica farting. He probably likes girls who could conceivably enter a farting competition. For money. But I also found this line hilarious: “They didn’t sit next to each other.” The subtext seems to be “… because Jessica was afraid she was going to fart on Gerard.” Or: “… because Jessica ordered chili.”
Jessica Simpson looking gassy at an LA premiere on January 19, 2010. Also, Jessica being farty on January 13, 2010. Credit: Fame and MIV/Fame.
